What do I do now?
As a single woman we embrace singleness as something free. I embrace it because it means that I am my own person. I do what I want when I want and I do not have to listen to anyone. I also come and go as I please and when I cook, clean and wash clothes it is for myself. I can talk to anyone without someone asking questions and each man I meet is not able to take my mind off of singleness. I liked talking to different men, "who wants to hear the same lie coming out the same mouth, at least if it is a lie let it be coming out of the mouth of a dark, fine brother tonight, let keep it interesting, I will tell some of the lies myself tonight". When I want to sit around in my house looking like a slob I can, no questions asked. Preparing myself for a mate has never entered my atmosphere so I never gave it a second thought. I love the thought of traveling whenever I felt like it on a moments notice without having to check with anyone, a man that is. One day it all came to a screeching halt, not because a male presence suddenly existed, but because of myself. All the fun and traveling just stop and I didn't understand why, only God could explain the path that he had suddenly thrust upon me. I began to search within myself for the answers, why has everything in my life come to this.....a desist.
Who would have known...its him. How did you get here nobody suppose to be here moment has arrived. What is a girl to do now, he is everything a woman could want in a man and more, so now what? Is this a blessing or a curse, so now what? Do I start acting all in love or do I play hard to get...WHAT?? WHAT DO YOU WANT MAN?...YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE HERE!!
Once I realize that this man was here to stay after all the running away from him, telling him to find himself another woman and telling him off. It finally dawn on me who this person is to me...a restorer. He came to restore me, redirect me, re-inform me, to re-apply the love that had be stripped away by an un-available father and really bad relationships. He came to reprogram my thought pattern about myself concerning my past and my future. He came to let me know that chivalry is not dead, just sleep, and it only takes the right call from God to wake it up so it can be presented into a woman's life. So now my, "you're not suppose to be here" moment turned into a "what took you so long" moment. This taught me that sometimes your freedom in reality can be bondage if you can't see change or have an open hand to receive a blessing. poeticjustice46 all day
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